I have to admit it...I'm a sucker for year end lists; a year end documentation that sums up the wo(man) made artificial timeline that is pop-cuture and how, at least now, we value what are our collective greatest hits and misses have been. What would those lists look like 20 years later and would we value the same "best of's" in hindsight? That's a different entry for a different time I suppose...Still, what I hold in value above all lists ranging from the best food blogs, to which of the bazillion beard bands had the most "authentic" reasons for pretending they don't care about success are those who care to share their greatest hits and misses in the carousel of their life. For those enjoy those for the same reasons that I do...here is my log onto the fire.
2011 was a personal windstorm for me; a perpetual shutting and opening of doors leading to places I always wanted to go and often not remembering what I had just seen after closing them. I'm not exaggerating when I say that never before in my life has time blended together so much; how much I tried to do my best to enjoy every moment I knew I'd regret if I didn't soak in the moment while I had it. Sometimes I did ok with that, and others I felt like driving to a cabin in the woods and closing my eyes before anything else happened I wasn't ready for; "Ready for" meaning making sure I could be reflective in the excitement of the moment without rushing to the next thing. If 2010 was about rebuilding the house of my life, 2011 was about seeing how the garden grew throughout the seasons.
Above all things career wise that went right in 2011, I'm most proud to have married my crazy/fun/beautiful lady Kristin earlier this past September. Let's face it, I'm lucky to have someone like to her who out of choice or ignorance, chooses to put up with this for life. I had proposed to her in January of this year after a year of dating and living together, and couldn't wait to get started on planing more of life that I we already had enjoyed. As anyone knows who has planned a wedding knows, it's a huge undertaking organizational wise depending how you go about it. We chose to have a big party with friends and family, and though it turned out more than fine in the end, was a lot of hard work throughout a year of insane travel and musical commitments. Sometimes I didn't know how we were ever going to get it done, but I learned a lot about what kinda classy lady she is, and what she and I were capable of putting together when we press on guns blazing. It was a beautiful day in which we were fortunate to have many of our friends help out with their talented gifts and donation of their valuable time. It was a pretty emotional day for me moving forward after a hard divorce a few years earlier, and a testament that even in the darkest moments of life things unknown to you are headed your way that are better that you ever thought possible. As we all know it's extremely hard to have that perspective when you're in the current shadow of whatever is a current trouble, but the milestone of change for me is something I hope I'll learn from as a testament to good always finding a way to sneak through the concrete of a hard situation. I'm a very lucky guy, and what a big moment of 2011 that was for me and Miss K.
I've been making the rock with KIRBY KRACKLE for 3 years now, and that's a big part of why I feel time is blending into itself lately. We do what is called the "convention season"; an annual trek to cities all over North America between March and November where we set up a table hawking our albums and wares for 9-hours a day for 3-4 days while performing concerts at night. It's fun work, tough work, and I'd be a liar if I didn't say it's harder at 32 than it was at 29; we know what we're doing now and adrenaline isn't so much a big part of it as is hoping to the baby Jeebus that your boxes of albums show up in whatever city you sent them too. Above all potentially disastrous logistics though is the fact that the music has amassed ourselves quite the feverous band of music nerds, and 2011 was another milestone in the growth of said fans and interest in what KK has to offer them. We kicked off the season with KRACKLEFEST; the first ever KK nerd-music festival in Seattle and a personal highlight for me in a new way of performing sans guitar for much of the set. To the casual reader that may not seem like much, but for someone who's performed for the past almost 20 years with a guitar strapped to their chest? As thrilling and as horrifying as the dream where you walk on the school bus naked. Two weeks after that show I did just that. Didn't turn out as good as I hoped though...
Seriously though, that was a big deal for me in my evolution as a performer and throughout the year I've been trying to push the boundaries of how that works for me in what I do. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes I have to keep my eye on ball unfailingly for if I look down I fall off the confidence bridge that is just a frontman with a mic stan- style. In May, KK was lucky enough to be asked to do a small convention tour for the first time outside of North America in Australia, specifically in Brisbane and Melbourne. It was also the first time I have done the same and a place I've always wanted to visit since I answered, "Australia, Mrs. Brewer", when asked in the 4th grade where I could visit anywhere in the world if given the chance. I was elated, nervous, excited, cautious, and intrigued during the entire trip, and this is one of the experiences I hope I truly let sink in while I was there with half my mind at home in wedding planning mode. I got to hold a koala bear, made some amazing new friends, and was blown away that many folks halfway around the world knew the words to a song I had written at my kitchen table. That is some magical stuff, and something that I hope I can keep the feeling with me of for all of my days. I'd like to do more of that, and am crossing my fingers that my continued work with KK will bring more opportunities like that my way. In July, KK released our 3rd full-length album, SUPER POWERED LOVE; a thematic album based around the concept of the many degrees of nerd love. From "Then Again, Maybe Not", a song about falling in love with your arch-nemesis to "Booty Do Math" a mathematical bedroom-romp that somehow doubles as a children's song, the album was a whirlwind for me with all the wedding planning and musical traveling that was going on simultaneously with KK. It's not an exaggeration to say I don't remember a lot of it, and though it was fun, I hope to be more present next time in the way of not having so much going on at the same time. Still, I put my heart into it at 10 on the volume dial and really enjoyed in retrospect the fast pace "It'll be what it is" by the band and I writing and recording it so quickly. It unintentionally sounds the most unflinchingly confident thing we've ever done to me because we didn't have time not to be. A head trip in itself...
Music has pretty much been my thing since I was a little dude with many years spent in the mindset of, "If only I could do this for a living then I would (insert fantasy of what life would be like here)". Now that it is my job and I'm very fortunate for it to be, the feeling changes as what was once fantasy now is daily life, and as it should. This is why it's important to have more than one thing you really enjoy, and why I feel very lucky to have found an additional passion in 2011. I've been a craft beer enthusiast for a while now, but never had thought it possible to make my own. In early January of 2010, my good buddy (and groomsman) TJ Sherrill taught me something that has brought much joy and new learning to my life throughout the entire year in teaching me how to brew beer. It's provided me with a feeling not unlike when I discovered how to play a power G-chord on guitar, and then the additional rush when you realize that hey, you're ok at it as well. It's akin to cooking. It's like writing a song. And it's provided me with a new blank canvas of creativity that though not lost in music, provides a child-like innocence of what is possible when attempting what you don't know, without realizing you don't know it. After 8 months of trial and error, and still much much much to learn, a personal highlight for me was serving 4 of my concoctions and 2 of TJ's at my wedding in September. Seeing a hundred plus folks dancing to your friend's rocking Bon Jovi cover hoisting your IPA in their hands over their heads? I highly recommend it. More of that, please.
Another standout event of 2011 was the fact that after 20 year or so of fantasizing about it, I got to share the stage with one of my lifelong heroes Mike McCready from Pearl Jam. Long story short, he put together a group of buddy musicians in Seattle for a fundraiser "live karaoke" concert at the Crocodile rock club and invited the public to come take a chance to rock with them. If you've never seen live karaoke, it's where the band learns a pre-set of 20 or so songs, and then singers from the crowd get to pick which song they want to sing with the band. The deal was this...$10 to watch the concert, $25 to watch and win one of 12 chances to sing with the band. The moment I heard about it I promptly cancelled band practice, made sure I had enough pennies, and had Kristin jump in the car with me to head down there to try and fulfill a dream. Mind you, I never thought that live karaoke was how rocking with one of my heroes would happen, but a guy has to take the chance when he has it. So I showed up, ate some pizza to calm my ever escalating nerves, and when my name was miraculously called among a 100 of other entries, shot up there like I was accepting the award for a middle-school spelling bee. I saw the song choices earlier in day online, and though no PJ songs were on it, the DEAD BOYS "Sonic Reducer" that the band also plays was among the choices. After denying the lyric sheet training wheels that I was in no way gonna let hamper the fun I was about to have, I greeted my childhood (adulthood) hero and what happened was the offloading of visceral joy you see in the video below that Kristin was amazing enough to make sure was filmed. There's nothing I can say about it that the video below doesn't show, but I do know that experience changed me to some degree. It filled something a little more that I think I've been trying to fill with music for years and changed the way I feel when I have performed since then. Not in a bad way, it's just different now. Hard to define other than a reaching of a personal mountaintop where above the clouds you've always pictured don't look how you've always imagined, but the fact is you made it up there to see them. And though now knowing what they look like doesn't hinder you from still climbing, why do you it has changed in some way. Rock.
http://vimeo.com/30195034
(Mike wind-mill kicking in my face. Cue brain explosion.)
All in all, it was a year for the record books in my so far 32 years on this here Earth, and I hope I'm here for 32 more. You can feel things changing everywhere can't you? The world and modern life is moving faster and faster and everyone is doing his and her best to keep up in the best way they can. Some are jumping off the train, most of us are making sure when we're doing ok that we're helping others hang on. Me? If there's anything I've learned in the past year is that being busy and having tons of stuff on your plate to the point of it scattering you is overrated; that "too busy" is often worn as a badge of honor rather than a warning sign from the universe to take a breath, which in turn is the only time we can learn and reflect. Slowing down is often used in negative connotation, but if you move too fast, you miss what is right there deserving your undivided attention; beautiful in it's fleeting nature. I hope to have more adventures both now being planned and those that jump in front of me both to play, and to teach me something. Work smarter. Play better. Lover harder. Be ever thankful for every person in my life that has given me kindness and love from one day to the next. I hope you do too. :)
KS
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